MCR

Waiting tables isn't rocket science, as they say, but I have to tell you, it's not particularly easy either. There's just so much remembering to do... and my 34-year-old mind doesn't remember the way it used to. There are so many questions I have to remember to ask (How do you want your steak cooked? What two sides would you like with that? [not to mention remembering which dishes even come with a choice of two sides] Do you want lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion on your burger? Do you want regular fries or sweet potato fries? Do you want this liquor or that liquor in your drink? What kind of dipping sauce do you want with your chicken fingers?). And I have to remember to bring appetizer plates out before the appetizer arrives (this is actually the thing I forget the most often). And I have to remember to bring wet naps if they order wings or ribs or some other messy item (I have yet to remember this one on my own).

Besides the remembering, there are other challenges, too. No matter how slow the shift starts out, I will inevitably reach a moment at some point where I have multiple tables who all need something at the exact same time. One table is waiting for their check, while another table is waiting for their drinks, while another table was just seated and they need to be greeted, and I can't do any of those things at the moment because someone just ordered a meal with 15 modifications and it's taking me FOREVER to ring it into the system.

Which reminds me... if you are one of those people who is incapable of ordering something from the menu AS IT APPEARS ON THE MENU, I want you to know that you are impacting everyone. Sure, I'm going to take your order with a smile, and I'm going to make sure you get exactly what you ordered, and I'm going to thank you for coming in... but seriously, people, modified orders take twice as long as regular orders to ring in, and while I'm busy ringing in your order, and then talking with the kitchen to make sure they get it right, three other tables are waiting for their drinks, or their check, or their extra ranch dressing, or whatever. I'm just saying...

Now, back to the challenges. There is some freaky skill that many waiters/waitresses have that allows them to carry, like, 19 plates at a time, lined up and down their arms, that they are able to carry effortlessly and gracefully to the table. Those waiters and waitresses can also carry three or four drinks in one hand, and they're able to clean off a table of 6 and carry all the dishes back to the dish pit in one journey. I am NOT one of these waitresses, and I can't figure out where these freaks have learned how to do this. No one teaches this to you. Or, if they do, I am always absent on that day of waitressing school. I have managed to figure out how to rest one plate on my left forearm, and then hold another one in my left hand, and carry one plate in my right hand (thus allowing me to deliver three plates at a time), but this is no easy feat, and my left arm is seriously shaking by the time I arrive at the table.

Oooh, all this talking about Major Chain Restaurant is making me crave a cheeseburger... cooked in between medium and medium well, with cheddar instead of American, and extra lettuce and pickle, but no onion, with broccoli instead of fries.... wait, who am I kidding? I would never choose broccoli over fries!

Happy dining!